I’ve said before here that I am in favor of the state getting out of the marriage business altogether. Issue a civil contract to take care of the legal stuff and if people want religious affirmation of a union, they can find a church to marry them.

This is one of the cruelest things I can think of for someone to have to go through after just having lost a loved one.

The governor of Rhode Island vetoed a measure that would have allowed domestic partners to arrange for funeral services for a deceased partner. He said it eroded traditional marriage. Really. I’m not sure how since death is the parter of unions even in the religious ceremony.

At a hearing this year on one of the stalled bills to allow same-sex marriage, Mark S. Goldberg told a Senate committee about his months-long battle last fall to persuade state authorities to release to him the body of his partner of 17 years, Ron Hanby, so he could grant Hanby’s wish for cremation — only to have that request rejected because “we were not legally married or blood relatives.”

Goldberg said he tried to show the police and the state medical examiner’s office “our wills, living wills, power of attorney and marriage certificate” from Connecticut, but “no one was willing to see these documents.”

He said he was told the medical examiner’s office was required to conduct a two-week search for next of kin, but the medical examiner’s office waited a full week before placing the required ad in a newspaper. And then when no one responded, he said, they “waited another week” to notify another state agency of an unclaimed body.

After four weeks, he said, a Department of Human Services employee “took pity on me and my plight … reviewed our documentation and was able to get all parties concerned to release Ron’s body to me,” but then the cremation society refused to cremate Ron’s body.

“On the same day, I contacted the Massachusetts Cremation Society and they were more than willing to work with me and cremate Ron’s body,” and so, “on November 6, 2008, I was able to finally pick up Ron’s remains and put this tragedy to rest.”

Four weeks to be able to get any closure on the loss of a loved one. Four freakin’ weeks. They had wills, living wills and powers of attorney and yet still were not treated as though those contracts were valid. Absolutely ridiculous and cruel.

Tags: funerals, gay marriage

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 7:09 am and is filed under Current Events, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.