When chefs’ knives are outlawed, only outlaws will have chefs’ knives.

I’d think they were joking but the UK has been going this direction for years now. And our betters are trying their damnedest to make sure we follow right along behind. I’ve been expecting similar calls here in the US for awhile.

The researchers say legislation to ban the sale of long pointed knives would be a key step in the fight against violent crime.

“The Home Office is looking for ways to reduce knife crime.

“We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure that would have this effect.”

So… what do you do about the thousands of knives already in the possession of murderous and reckless citizens? Conduct raids on kitchens around the country to remove the danger? Or do you depend on the law abiding citizen to voluntarily give up their kitchen knives so that, like gun bans, only the criminals are left with the illegal items? I don’t see what could go wrong with that plan.

The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.

I’m glad they consulted a wide swath of chefs to speak for the thousands of chefs there surely are in the UK. So next up is a federal database of registered chefs. And if you retire? Well, surrender those knives, buddy. Or maybe, your employer will be the one who owns the knives you use.

And… I know what they meant, but “when a sharp end was needed?” When do I want a dull knife??? I’m pretty sure they meant “pointed end.”

Buncha arseholes. They make me feel all stabby…



4 Responses to “When chefs’ knives are outlawed, only outlaws will have chefs’ knives.”

  1. Kim says:

    I’m thinking the fingernail files and sewing needles are next. What about those vicious hair combs? I mean.
    Merry belated Christmas.

  2. Marcel says:

    Saw the headline and thought it was satire. But no, it’s just idiots.

  3. David says:

    Next, they’ll ban fire. After all, I’ve taken “trash” wood and made charcoal, then using the charcoal taken old files and suchlike and made knives. Nice ones. Heck, I’ve made useful (sharp pointy things) out of all kinds of bits of metal and glass.

    And those are just trivial examples of tool/weapon making from scratch or very nearly so.

    So? “they” will ban all scrap and anything else that can be made into weapons? How’s that working out in the controlled environments of prisons?

    OK, then lobotomies, I suppose… Oh, wait. Too late for that for a majority of Americans. (See November 6, 2012).

  4. I heard Germany was controlling the sale of baseball bats in certain areas as well.

    It’s not about safety. It has NEVER been about safety. It’s about control.